Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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