I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
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