Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize