I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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