when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
