sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
