there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
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