...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
