So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I AM VODKA MAN
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
