Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
