What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
