I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Randomize
