I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
i think we sleep fucked last night...
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
