i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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