please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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