cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
i've created a new STD.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Randomize