Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Randomize
