so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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