I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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