What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Randomize
