my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
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