I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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