cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
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