I CAN MOONWALK!
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
