quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
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