I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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