Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Randomize
