Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize