I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
she smelled like a LAN party
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
