I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
