Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Randomize
