he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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