I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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