how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
