first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
