my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Randomize
