Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
