What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
