So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
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