If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
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