She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
can u get pink eye on your cock?
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
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