I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Randomize
