How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
