Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
