Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
