What did we do last night that was yellow?
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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