i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Randomize
