I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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