Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
