Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
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