I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Randomize
