why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
how does that bad decision feel?
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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