just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Randomize
