so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize