you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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