just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
