last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
