On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
