Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
